Confession time: yes OK I did watch the aforementioned chick flick. Man oh man, why am I even admitting this here.
You see, a good (guy) friend of mine strongly strongly recommended this movie to me. “Good excuse, B.J.”. Yeah yeah OK well it’s the truth. I made my friend a deal that I’d watch the movie if it was showing on my plane ride to Canada and sure enough, it was. But to be really honest it wasn’t all that bad. It’s not quite your typical chick flick; if anything it’s a lot closer to real life (to a certain extent) than most other movies of the genre.
I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, so if you’re afraid I might (though I’ll try not to) then stop reading now.
My thoughts on the movie: it basically feels like Traffic (that Oscar-winning drama movie) meets chick flickness. The movie actually struck home quite personally on a lotta accounts, mostly to do with how love can seriously screw you up and make you think so incredibly irrationally and even obsessively.
For many years now I’ve sought after the wise counsel of my close friends on girls, dating and relationships. It’s an easy topic to discuss! If there’s ever a dry moment in a conversation, just throw in a relationship question – even better if it involves you – and bam! your conversation is sorted for the next hour.
Everyone loves a good story, everyone loves to analyze every detail with you, and most of all everyone loves to give their advice on what the other person is thinking and what you should do next. The thing is, quite often other people’s advice, well, can really be a load of unhelpful fluff that just makes your mind spin ten times faster than it should be. It’s taken me a while to realise this for myself, and this movie has really reminded me of that lesson.
The moral of this story (and of the movie, I think) is to really make up your own mind for yourself. Listen to others, but remember that they probably don’t have it anymore right than you do. And don’t be a retard and read into every little tiny detail – it’ll only screw with your head more and fill it with very opinionated but highly misinterpreted ideas. Be upfront with the other person – especially if you’re the guy. Don’t be some lame excuse for a man who lets the girl float around in uncertainty because you’re so afraid of getting your inflated ego get popped by potential rejection, or because you think it’s cool to “play the field” and not consider how the other girl is feeling. I’ve seen so many guys – Christian guys even – do that to other women and it’s frankly both pathetic and embarrassing.
Wow that was a rant, but I think one that needs to be voiced out on behalf of many Christian sisters out there who’ve been hurt by guys like that. I’m just sorry if I was ever like one of them in the past.
So uh… (how to end this blog post…) go watch the movie! It’s thought-provoking at the very least, and let me know what you think of it!
Posted on June 16th, 2009 by B.J.
Filed under: Personal | No Comments »
It’s my last night as a medical student, and what am I doing? Finishing off the last bits of my report on “Therapeutic Hypothermia after Cardiac Arrest: a Review of the ILCOR and ERC Guidelines”. Joy…
I guess this is quite a fitting finish to my university experience. Writing essays that require a citation for every other sentence has never been my favourite part of medical school. In fact, it’s probably the one area I’ve least enjoyed about medical school. So many late nights working, so many hours spent writing and re-writing one paragraph, so much wasted effort hunting down that one citation I’m sure I’ve read somewhere but cannot seem to find anymore. So many desperate prayers saying “God, please show me some serious grace right now and help me get through this crazy essay”.
And shown me serious grace God has. Every single time. I think every genuine Christian out there recognizes how they have a great big “grace tab” that they can never repay back God. My grace tab has definitely extended a good few meters from all these painful “SSM” and “SAMP” essays I’ve had to write in university.
And I know this trend will only continue. Even after I finish this last university essay, hard times will keep on coming (though hopefully not in essay format). Yet God is still good, and His grace will sustain me.
Posted on June 12th, 2009 by B.J.
Filed under: Christianity, Medicine, Personal | No Comments »
There’s a book that’s hit the bestseller shelves recently called Trust Me, I’m a Junior Doctor. The book is the fictional diary of Max Pemberton, a fresh medical school graduate who’s just discovering the joys (and horrors) of life working as a junior doctor. Sound familiar? I think so…
If you read the reviews of the book, it’s supposed to be “absurdly funny” and read like the blog version of Scrubs the TV show. I’m halfway through the book now. Is it absurdly funny? No. Definitely not. Does it have funny bits in it? OK, yes, it does have some. Is it totally discouraging and disheartening when you yourself are gonna be in Max Pemberton’s shoes in two months time? Ohhhh yes. Oh very yes.
I’m really looking forward to graduating and finally becoming a real doctor. But the stories in this book are just so “this could totally happen to me” feeling. It’s hard to laugh at the main character of the book when that could so totally be you in the very near future.
I imagine in two years time, when I’m a bit more settled in the job, I’ll flick through the book again and find it absolutely hilarious. Either that or it’ll bring back painful memories of my own screw-ups as a junior doctor. Man, why am I even reading this book??
This summer I have a small reading list of helpful books to read (in sharp contrast to the above) before I start work. In no particular order, these books are:
1) The Oxford Handbook for the Foundation Programme. Reads like “Trust Me I’m a Junior Doctor” but instead the authors actually give you real practical advice on how to survive life on the wards and tackle unfamiliar medical scenarios.
2) The Advanced Life Support Textbook. I passed my ALS course a few months ago and am now very proudly “ALS-certified”. But man, I REALLY need to review my emergency algorithms before I start leading cardiac arrest teams myself.
3) Christian Choices in Healthcare. Medicine can be an ethical nightmare, and watching a woman ask for an abortion recently has really struck a chord in me. As a medical student, I have often hid behind the “I’m still deciding” line when discussing controversial ethical issues. As a doctor, I won’t have that option available anymore. It’s either “yes” or “no”. “I’m still deciding” won’t cut it when a patient tells me she wants to terminate her pregnancy. This book is a collection of essays on a wide array of ethical topics, and has been highly recommended by my Christian Medical Fellowship (CMF) peers.
If I have time (which I probably won’t), another book I want to read is Hard Questions on Faith and Healing. It’s a book that explores the role of healing (as described in the Bible) in the context of modern medicine. A very interesting issue, and it’s written by a senior doctor and CMF staff member – one whom I have actually met in person myself! I was too embarrassed to ask him to sign my book at the time though…
Anyway, I’ll save all this reading for later. Right now I need to focus on finishing medical school. Only one week left…!
Posted on June 5th, 2009 by B.J.
Filed under: Christianity, Medicine, Personal | Comments Off
Moving sucks. But staying in the same place indefinitely can really suck as well.
Such is the paradox experienced by TCK’s like myself. We desire stability in our ever changing world. Yet we also fear the idea of settling down in one place forever. The world is our oyster, yet we find ourselves both loving and hating that fact about ourselves at the very same time.
The reality that I’ll be leaving is steadily sinking in. Last November, when I first clicked “North Central Thames” in my job application form, the idea of leaving Liverpool really didn’t bother me at all. But now… now I’m very acutely experiencing the pain of leaving as I count down my remaining weeks here.
The last time this happened to me was back in high school. Growing up in a very multi-cultural international school, over 90% of my graduating year went overseas for higher education – literally to universities all over the world. As the weeks of term slowly came to an end, we all carried this strange and ominous feeling on our shoulders. ‘Soon this will all end… Soon everything we’ve learned to grow familiar with will cease to be.’ We all knew that we would never be together again. The chance of even half of us living in the same city or even country were slim enough – let alone gather together for a reunion.
But what can you do in that situation? Nothing, really. You just keep on going with your day. And when that fateful time comes to say your final goodbyes, you say them, and life moves on.
I suppose this is where I add some cheesy-sounding Christian appendage to my post like “the only thing that has remained constant in my life is God”. But as clichéd and as hackneyed as that statement might be, it’s true. And to a very significant extent, I take great comfort and reassurance in that fact.
Breathe deep. Gotta keep going. Gotta keep trusting.
Posted on May 10th, 2009 by B.J.
Filed under: Personal | Comments Off
Two months left till I graduate. Just two months. Today it suddenly dawned on me how few weeks I have left to spend with my Liverpool friends, go to Christ Church, and say goodbye to everything I’ve grown familiar with over the past five years.
It’s also gotten me thinking about how I’m gonna survive the next two years of my life. For my first year I will be working in North London, and in the following year I’ll be working an hour’s drive away in Southwest Essex. Making meaningful relationships and settling into church will be hard.
One of my biggest concerns is that after spending a whole year settling into a new church and making new friends in the area, I will have to leave everything and start all over again in Essex.
What I’d love is to have some sort of stability in my life. Seeing as my workplace will inevitably have to change, I figured maybe I could try to keep my church the same. But any church that’s close to home in my first year will literally take 60 minutes longer to get to in my second year.
So I’m left with a question to answer: which option is better? To stay in one church for two years, and struggle in my second year to attend church / small group by commuting twice a week (two hours for each return journey)? Or to get settled into one church, invest my time and energy developing new relationships and serving in it, then leave that church so I can (more effectively?) do the same thing in a new church in the following year?
Any wise suggestions or “I’m praying for you’s” are gladly welcome in the comments.
Posted on April 18th, 2009 by B.J.
Filed under: Christianity, Personal | 1 Comment »
I just saw a specialist GP this morning who diagnosed me with “cuboid syndrome”. I was actually really impressed with this guy, because he managed to elicit pain where another GP and an A&E junior doctor were not able to.
Now that I think about it, it’s kinda odd that I’m saying this. Most patients complain when doctors examine them and cause them pain. Here I am, impressed that this guy actually managed to make my foot hurt (which in this case, makes for a much more accurate diagnosis).
The doctor said I haven’t developed a stress fracture yet – which is always good – but I may develop one if I don’t rest my foot properly. He also said I have slightly flat feet, but have managed to survive pretty well considering how many miles I’ve be able to run before developing this problem. For now though, I need to rest my foot properly for 3-4 weeks and get some insoles made for my shoes.
Seeing as I won’t be doing this Sunday’s marathon, I need to find another one to run as soon as my foot’s rested – you know, just to keep up appearances and maintain some self-dignity, ha! No really, I’d hate it if I always had to say “well yeah, I’ve almost ran a full marathon once. But then I got injured… Mmhmm, yeah… INJURED…” To me, that just screams wussie.
So, I need a new marathon, ideally in early-mid June. Any suggestions?
Posted on April 14th, 2009 by B.J.
Filed under: Daily Happenings, Medicine | Comments Off
I listened to this talk last night, and man I felt so slapped in the face. The technical Christian word for this is “rebuked”. And last night, man I was so rebuked.
This is not a light talk. But it is definitely a talk that so many men need to listen to.
Props to Christy for pointing it out to me. And props for Mark Driscoll for speaking such a powerful message.
Posted on April 11th, 2009 by B.J.
Filed under: Christianity | Comments Off
